Tuesday, September 23, 2008

My time

I feel like I have been told that from now on I must walk on my hands. The pace of my life has altered so abruptly that it is taking me some time to adjust. It is not as if I didn't know it was coming, I got the letter over the summer..."Beginning Sept. 3, 2008, you're life will flip upside down, your daughter will get on the bus and your life will never be the same. Get your gloves on." Okay, maybe it wasn't so contrived as that but it is how I felt.

Three weeks ago yesterday, I was home alone...for the first time in 7 and a half years. There have been other moments, but just brief moments nothing lasting or recurring until that fated day. I have to admit that I did not cry, Lennon made me so proud and she was so ready. When she heard the bus coming down the road she ran and hugged me tight, kissed be quick, and yelled to Colton, "I wanna get on first!!!" Before I had a chance to feel sad, she took off, down the steps and ran up those enormous bus steps (twice the size of her)...and never looked back.

As I walked back into the house I was overcome by quiet, no TV, no computer humming, no footsteps, no yammering endless descriptions of the smushed bug on the sidewalk, no "guess what!?", no arguing...nothing, just silence. It was creepy! And I had to escape. I did a poor job picking up, stuffed a few things in my pack, grabbed Bailey and drove the the base of Mt. Baker.

I enjoyed a glorious morning up there. I sat on the south face, not overlooking town (and my daughter at school) and took in the view. I'm not sure when I last sat at the top of a mountain and didn't worry someone was going to fall off. Words could never explain what my children and husband mean to me, but I do think that it had to be a Mother who came up with the concept of school. I envision a group of cavewomen huddled around a fire, surrounded by screaming children running around naked and dirty, trying desperately to talk to each other over the excessive noise and dust. One of those Mother's decided to send the kids off to "learn" (a.k.a give me peace and quiet, and a bit of my own identity back).

After the wettest summer I can ever remember, we have stumbled into the most quintessential fall weather. (Thus explaining my absence from the blogging world...not that I don't check other peoples, I just don't have time to do much more that post a picture on my own.) I have thoroughly enjoyed every moment of it. At least two mornings a week I climb Baker and enjoy a little respite, climb down and get Lennon from school. I have finally been able to spend time with my Grandma, hiking into Moose Pond or walking behind her house and enjoying a cup of tea...it's amazing having her here!

My household projects still loom ahead of me, but I know the days of fall are short and soon the rains and snow will come and I'll have plenty of time to clean out the cabinets and rearrange the entryway. Mt. Baker, here I come!!!

3 comments:

Kate said...

Beautiful. So happy for you (and the happy kids, too). Enjoy!

A. Elizabeth Ash said...

love you. i like you having time, you write so beautifully.

adam said...

Nice post, Holly. I've laminated it for Kate (kidding).